Homeschool overwhelm is a very real thing! And full disclosure here – as I write this, I am feeling a bit of it myself. We are gearing up for the start of a new homeschool year and I’m definitely experiencing some decision fatigue! However, I have learned some ways to overcome the sinking feeling of overwhelm. So, from one homeschool mama to another, here are some tips for calming down and moving past the overwhelming feelings that you’re having.
The Responsibilities Of A Homeschooling Parent
As homeschool moms, there are so many decisions and responsibilities that fall on our shoulders. It feels as though our to-do list is never ending and sometimes, we just want to ignore it all and crawl under the covers to take a nap!
Trust me…I get it!
If you’re anything like me you have a million thoughts swirling around in your head at once. These include thoughts such as:
- Staying consistent throughout our homeschool day
- Creating a daily routine
- Choosing the right homeschool curriculum
- Getting the household chores done
- Planning language arts lessons, field trips, play dates, and “all of the things”
Honestly, that list could go on forever! That is just a snippet of all the many things we think about, plan, and execute on a daily basis.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am NOT complaining about all the things we homeschool moms need to do! Quite the opposite actually. I want this post to feel like you and I are having a coffee together and sharing the many joys and challenges of homeschooling. I want to encourage you in your homeschooling journey and remind you that even during times of overwhelm, it’s all SO worth it!
Managing Your Expectations
During my seasons of homeschool overwhelm, there is usually one main culprit responsible for sending me down that slippery slope. And that is….having unrealistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations always create stress and they set your entire homeschool up for failure. There are 3 main areas where we as homeschool moms tend to develop unrealistic expectations. Let’s take a look at them:
- Ourselves: So often we expect ourselves to be like Superwoman. We have this idea in our head of what the perfect homeschool mom is like, and we compare ourselves to that false image. We expect ourselves to never lose our temper, do all the fun outings with the homeschool group, keep a spotless house and cook everything from scratch – ALL THE TIME.
- Our kids: If we’re not careful, we can also create unrealistic expectations for our kids. When planning the homeschool year, it’s easy to get carried away with curriculum options and expect our kids to be just as excited as we are! Sometimes, we make a plan for their homeschool day that ends in a fight because we centered those plans around what WE wanted, not what works best for them. We can so quickly place expectations on our kids that they aren’t equipped to meet, and that always leads to overwhelm.
- Our personal life: Sometimes, we try to be everything to everybody – our husbands, kids, family members, friends, etc. And although this may not sound like something that causes overwhelm, it does. When we don’t make certain relationships a priority over others and instead try to please everyone around us….we burn out. As homeschool moms, we need to stop expecting ourselves to be able to stretch evenly to every person who wants us, without it taking a toll on our sanity.
Managing what we expect from ourselves and those around us is KEY. For myself, homeschool overwhelm creeps in when I feel like my goals and expectations aren’t being met.
So let’s rewrite the script that plays out in our minds, and come up with practical ideas for our homeschool. Let’s give ourselves some grace when we aren’t able to get the bathroom cleaned because our kids need us for something. And let’s learn to prioritize our relationships and say “not right now” to plans or people that simply need to wait.
It’s OK to do those things! Doing them will save you a whole lot of stress and help you from feeling completely overwhelmed!
Categorizing Your To-Do List
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I am currently feeling a bit overwhelmed myself as I get everything prepared for the upcoming school year. For me, this overwhelm stems from my constant need to be productive, which usually means I take on too many things at one time.
One way I have discovered to combat this habit of mine, is to categorize my to-do list day by day.
I look at everything I need/want to accomplish and decide what is most important TODAY. Those are the things I focus on, and then tomorrow I focus on the rest. I actively have to allow myself not to do certain things today, in order to feel at peace with what I am doing. If I don’t categorize things like this, I often go to bed thinking about all the things I DIDN’T get done, rather than all the things I did.
Slowing Down
Another important element in avoiding homeschool overwhelm is slowing down. I know this likely sounds a bit cliché, but it really is so important!
Try to allow yourself to have some quiet time, whether that’s in the morning before your kids wake up or during another pocket of the day. Have a cup of coffee and just sit. I realize that depending on the stage of life you’re in, this may seem impossible. But if you adjust your idea of what quiet time actually is (meaning, it may not actually be “quiet”), you can absolutely find a few moments to do this.
If you have lots of younger children, try creating a morning routine where you get up 30 minutes before them. Or, if the weather is nice you can set up some activities on the back deck and just sit and let them play. If your kids are older, establish some break times during the day where everyone does their own thing – including you.
Here’s a little bit of tough love – it’s easy to find excuses why you can’t take a few minutes to yourself. But if you’re determined to do so, you WILL find a way!
When looking at the big picture of homeschooling and parenthood, taking some time to slow down and stop “doing”, will actually have so many benefits for you and your kids.
It’s in these moments that you can sort through all of your jumbled up thoughts and do a mental purge. Just sitting and being still is often the best way to organize your mind, and shift your focus to what’s most important.
Don’t Try To Do It All
The feelings of homeschool overwhelm will steal your joy quicker than anything else. This is often the reason people quit homeschooling all together! They take on too many things, crash, and then think that homeschooling just isn’t for them.
The good news however, is that you don’t have to get to that point!
When it comes to your children’s education focus your energy on the most important things like reading, writing, and math. Always start there, and then depending on how the year is going you may decide to add a unit study or an extracurricular activity.
Unlike traditional schools, you have the power to decide exactly how much school work is done each day, and at what pace. So listen to your instincts because nobody knows your kids like you do.
If you want to homeschool long term you need to pace yourself and not try to do everything in one year. It’s a very overwhelming feeling trying to spin too many plates at once, and that’s exactly what you’re doing when you try and accomplish everything at the same time.
Set Realistic Goals
I already talked about having unrealistic expectations, so now let’s talk about setting realistic goals.
One of the common struggles amongst homeschool moms is setting the bar a little too high for themselves and their kids. Having a goal is a good thing, but if you have to work yourself into the ground in order to achieve that goal, you are bound to reach a place of overwhelm.
Being a homeschool mom is a full-time job, on top of the full-time job of being a wife, homemaker, and maybe even balancing outside employment as well. You have a lot going on so it’s important that you set small goals for your homeschool that are attainable. With a bit of planning, small goals quickly become small victories! And over time, those small victories start to compound and you look back and realize how much you’ve actually accomplished!
And remember, homeschool goals are not strictly related to academic achievement. There are so many areas in which you can set small little goals to work towards. A few examples are:
- Getting outside more often for some fresh air
- Teaching your kids some valuable life skills
- Including more physical activity in your homeschool day
- Doing one lesson per week from your history curriculum
- Spending a half hour each morning reading to your kids
Of course these are just examples, but you get the picture. Small goals that have a clear pathway of achievement lead to more goals met over time. And it’s little things like that, that can keep you from the drowning feeling of homeschool overwhelm.
Last But Not Least…Turn Off!
The last tip I’ll share to help you handle homeschool overwhelm is to make sure you are attempting to turn off your “homeschool brain” at least once a day. I know this is easier said than done, but like any habit it just needs to be practiced.
Because homeschooling overlaps with every other element of our lives, it’s easy to keep our homeschool brain turned on at all times. We are always looking for the educational benefits of things, or worrying about whether the curriculum we chose is a good fit. I can say from experience that I know how hard it is to turn those thoughts off.
But….you must!
You need to force yourself to turn that off at least once a day and just relax. For me, that looks like having a cup of tea in the evening and crocheting while watching TV with my husband or daughter. Do I sometimes start thinking about homeschool related things while I’m crocheting? Of course. But I don’t pursue those thoughts at that time. If I have to make a note of something so I can revisit it the next day, I do. But then I return to my yarn and hook, and try my best to set those thoughts aside.
Whatever you enjoy doing to unwind, make it a priority to do so and let the homeschool side of your brain rest. We are human beings and our brains need to rest and recharge in order for us to be able to approach each day from a healthy place.
Homeschooling is extremely important, but it isn’t ALL you are! Turn it off and enjoy the other aspects of your life.
Words Of Encouragement
I hope this post encourages you in your homeschooling journey! Remember that bad days happen, but one bad day doesn’t need to send you spiraling into a pit of overwhelm. Slow down, be realistic with your goals and expectations, and take breaks whenever necessary!
Homeschool overwhelm does not have to get the better of you. You truly can enjoy your homeschooling years, and my prayer for you is that you soak up as many amazing moments as possible!
Blessings!
~Maryann
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