How To Teach Forgiveness To Kids: Activity Ideas

As parents, teaching your children the importance of forgiveness is crucial. But knowing how to teach forgiveness to kids is tough. Forgiving the people who hurt you is not always easy, but it’s a principle the Bible talks about repeatedly. In fact, it’s the very cornerstone of salvation itself, and an extremely important lesson they need to learn. 

As a homeschooling mom of two, I can say with confidence that some of the best ways to teach forgiveness to your kids are:

• Teaching them what the Bible says about forgiveness
• Modeling forgiveness towards family members and friends
• Helping them perform the act of forgiveness repeatedly 
• Using activities to teach them the value of forgiveness in their lives

>>>Read also: The Spiritual Benefits Of Homeschooling

Key points to cover

To help you navigate through these lessons, I’ve put together some information and activity ideas that you can use with your children. You can either use these points to make your own lesson plan, simply apply them to your daily life, or even better….both. 

What’s most important though is making sure your kids understand the true meaning of forgiveness, and why the ability to forgive is one of the most valuable and Biblical character traits they could possess. 

Here’s what we’re going to cover:

• What does forgiveness mean?
• How forgiveness applies to young children
• Helping children handle hurt feelings
• Why children can find it hard to apologize
• How lack of forgiveness can lead to negative feelings
• The perfect training ground for teaching forgiveness
• Forgiveness memory verse to include in your daily routine

Also, please know that the context in which I’m explaining forgiveness does not have anything to do with an abuse situation. Although I do believe in forgiving an abuser as part of the healing process, those situations require a much longer, deeper dialogue and process. While forgiveness is a necessary and healthy part of healing, the child should never be lead to believe that just because they forgave their abuser, that they should trust that person. Those are very different things, and children who have been through any sort of abuse need a lot of prayer, love, support, and counselling. 

What does forgiveness mean?

As Christians, we believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. He was the sacrifice required for the cleansing of our sin so that we can stand, pure and righteous, before God. That righteousness has NOTHING to do with us. It comes solely through the blood of Jesus. Receiving God’s forgiveness means that all our past mistakes, and even future mistakes, no longer condemn us. When we ask for and receive God’s forgiveness, our sins no longer separate us from Him. As far as God is concerned, they don’t exist. All that He sees is the purity of Jesus, because it covers all of our imperfections. 

Isn’t that simply amazing?

The Bible also tells us that God commands us to forgive others, because He forgives us. Here are a few scripture verses regarding this:

• Ephesians 4:32“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
• Luke 6:37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
• Matthew 18:21-22“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

In a nutshell, a great way you can explain this to your children is – even though they have done some not so good things in the past, God forgives them. And even though they will most definitely make mistakes in the future, He will continue to forgive. Why? Because He is their Heavenly Father, who loves them unconditionally. 

And we are to also forgive people – their past and future mistakes included – because that’s what God calls us to do. 

How forgiveness applies to young children

Some people may feel that young children can’t understand the concept of forgiveness, and in some ways that’s true. Obviously babies and toddlers aren’t able to process any of this. And really young children likely can’t fully comprehend the depth of God’s love for them and the Biblical reasons to forgive. 

However, children don’t need to be very old to feel angry at a friend or sibling over something. Plus, they certainly aren’t too old to have hurt feelings themselves. There are plenty of age appropriate activities you can use to teach young children (I’m specifically thinking ages 3-5), the basics of forgiveness. Here’s a few ideas:

• Do some role playing and have your child and a friend or sibling act out a scenario that would be common in a child’s world – someone taking a toy for example – and have them take turns being the “offender” and the “forgiver”. Have them notice how they feel after forgiving and also after being forgiven.
• Read a story to them about forgiveness and ask them a few questions to get them thinking
• Do an art activity where you have them draw either a happy face or a sad face to show how being forgiven or not forgiven would make them feel

At young ages like this, most children will need constant help with the act of forgiveness so don’t let that discourage you. They WILL understand eventually. And remember, a good way to really teach them this concept, is to model it yourself within your home. 

Helping children handle hurt feelings

A child’s feelings can get hurt very easily. What we might look at as trivial may be a really big deal to them. I know that in my home, I’ve unintentionally hurt my children’s feelings at times by downplaying something they felt was important. 

Whenever I accidentally hurt the feelings of one of my children, I immediately apologize. I’ve done this ever since they were old enough to have their feelings hurt. This helps validate how they feel, and shows them I value their feelings. It also shows them that even though I’m the parent, I still make mistakes. It humbles me, and models humility to them. 

In my opinion, the best way to help children handle their hurt feelings and be able to move forward into forgiveness is by teaching them the power of an apology. How to give one but also how to accept one. Humility and the ability to apologize go hand in hand. Showing them that it’s important to apologize when you’ve wronged someone is just as important as teaching them the need to forgive. 

Why children can find it hard to apologize

Children need to understand that their actions can hurt others as well, and that they will often have to show humility and ask forgiveness when they’ve wronged someone. But this doesn’t come naturally to most kids. There are many varying reasons why a child may find it hard to apologize, but the most common ones would be:

• Feelings of shame or embarrassment over what they’ve done and finding it challenging to admit it
• A simple lack of understanding that what they did was actually wrong 

The best ways to teach the skill of apologizing to children is to first make sure they know that EVERYONE makes mistakes. They aren’t bad because they messed up, and also, make sure they understand what they did wrong.

Next, help them with their apology by either practicing it on you first, or offering to go with them when they make their apology to the person they hurt. This will give them the confidence and support they need. Apologizing can be scary for a child, so have patience and don’t set your expectations too high. 

Here are some activity ideas you could use to teach your children how to apologize:

• Play a game where your kids have to guess the fake or real apology
• Have them write an example of an apology on a piece of paper 
• Do some apology role play
• Apology worksheets – there are many free resources online for this, but you can find some good ones here 

How lack of forgiveness can lead to negative feelings

Another valuable lesson to teach your children is how damaging a lack of forgiveness can be. Choosing to stay bitter towards somebody can have serious side effects emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

Carrying bitterness or resentment is a heavy burden, one that we aren’t meant to bear. An article from In Touch Ministries discussing this states: “An attitude of bitterness triggers tension and anxiety, which can affect everything from muscles to chemical balance in the brain. Over time, that kind of stress weakens the body.” 

A few easy ways to explain this to children would be:

• Do an object lesson with them. Here you’ll find an amazing one including exploding baking soda and vinegar bags!
• Read a Bible story about lack of forgiveness  (Matthew 18:21-35) 
• Give them a piece of paper and have them come up with ways that having hard feelings towards someone could affect them 

Forgiving isn’t always easy, and we don’t have to “feel like it” in order to do it. It’s something we have to choose to do at times, even when we don’t want to. That’s hard for kids, (and adults too). But understanding the dangers of not showing forgiveness is a good step in understanding why it’s something that simply must be done. 

The perfect training ground

As moms, we have so many things we want and need to teach our children, that sometimes we start looking to other people to handle certain topics for us. That’s perfectly ok when it comes to skills such as music, art, athletics, etc. But when it comes to spiritual matters and personal growth, the perfect training ground for children is with their family, in their home. 

You can do all the activities in the world to teach forgiveness to your children, but the most effective way is to simply model it yourself. If the home is a place of humility and forgiveness, your children will learn to live this way. 

Yes, do the activities – they are good and add great value! But above all else, always be ready to forgive your children and spouse when they make mistakes, and teach your kids what the Bible says about forgiveness. 

>>>Read also: Honoring The High Calling Of Motherhood

Forgiveness memory verse

Here is an easy memory verse for you to include in your daily routine with your kids:

• “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.”– Matthew 6:14

Print it out and put it somewhere your children will see everyday. If you homeschool, include it in your morning time or prayer time each day. If not, have them say it each morning at breakfast, or each evening before bed. Reciting this will also open up the doorways for conversations with your children about their day, and if there is anyone they are needing to forgive that they haven’t.

Remember friend, God gave you your children for a reason, and He will equip you to raise them well. Simply rely on Him for guidance, and He won’t let you down. Show God’s love and forgiveness to your kids every single day, and that will set the stage for them to live those principles out in their own life. 

Blessings!

~Maryann