If you think you are the only family that has experienced a bad homeschool day, you couldn’t be more wrong! Bad homeschool days happen for all of us, because they are a normal part of homeschooling. The good news is, as homeschool moms, we have the ability to turn hard days into good days! In this post, I’m giving you 5 steps for handling a bad homeschool day, that will help you get through it, all while bringing your family closer together.
Reasons For A Bad Homeschool Day
First, let’s address some of the reasons for having a bad homeschool day. Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list, but these are the most common reasons I could think of as to why we sometimes have a really bad day. As homeschool parents, I’m positive we experience many of the same issues!
- Lack of sleep: Perhaps you or your kids had a late night, and didn’t get the amount of sleep you normally get. Lack of sleep, for whatever reason, can easily contribute to a bad mood, a lack of focus, and feeling just plain tired.
- Hormones: Let’s be real here…..as women, our hormones can play a huge part in how we feel. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Many different things can affect our hormones, not just the time of month, and feeling all “out of whack” definitely contributes to a rough day.
- Sickness: Maybe one of your family members is sick, or has been sick recently. Perhaps the flu has circulated throughout your house and everyone is still trying to recover. Sickness can quickly cause a bad day of homeschooling, and it’s a part of life we just need to roll with!
- Relational Strain: Whether it’s between you and your spouse, some of your kids, or an extended family member, relational strain can really affect your mood. This type of stress leads to so many frustrated feelings, and can make it very challenging to stay positive and focused.
- Overwhelm: Sometimes as homeschool moms, we add way too many things to our plate. Even with good organizational skills, we can find ourselves feeling overwhelmed easily. And this doesn’t apply to just us – perhaps our kids are feeling overwhelmed by their school work, or an issue with their best friend. Usually when we’re overwhelmed, the smallest of things can feel huge to us, which can lead to a pretty lousy day.
- Curriculum: Maybe the curriculum you’ve chosen for your homeschool isn’t the right fit, and it’s causing unnecessary stress. Tears over math or language arts can affect the whole rest of the day, and be hard to overcome. If you feel this may be the case for your homeschool, my post on How To Choose The Best Homeschool Curriculum, will definitely help you out!
- A messy house: This is something that affects me more than I’d like to admit. When my house is messy, it can make me feel cranky, irritable, and like I’m failing. When I feel this way, I have a hard time approaching our homeschool days with the right mindset. I have however, learned a few tricks to help with this, and I wrote an entire article all about Creating An Easy House Cleaning Schedule For Busy Homeschool Moms. If you struggle with this, it’s worth the read!
A Bad Homeschool Day Isn’t Always Your Fault
When, not if, but when you have the kind of day that makes you feel like a bad homeschool mom, please know that you aren’t! Nobody is perfect and we all fall short at times. Plus, a bad homeschool day isn’t always a result of your own struggles or emotions – sometimes it’s your kids that are having a rough day. That’s also totally normal, and we can’t expect our children to be any less affected by the reasons I’ve listed above, than we are.
Also, there are times when bad days happen for no apparent reason at all! So let’s take a look at the 5 steps you can take to handle a bad homeschool day, and turn what feels really hard, into something good.
Step 1: Recognize it for what it is
The very first thing you should do when you realize you’re having a bad homeschool day, is to simply recognize it as a bad day. Don’t lie to yourself or your children, and pretend like everything is perfect when it isn’t. If possible, recognize that it’s not a great day BEFORE you really start into your schedule, or at least, in the midst of it. Don’t go through the whole day feeling lousy without addressing it, as this will likely result in saying or doing things you may regret at the end of the day.
Taking a minute to step back and recognize that today might be a bad day, is the first step to taking control of the situation, and not letting it control you.
If your child is the one having a bad homeschool day, then recognize it for them. Kids aren’t always able to verbalize what they’re feeling, but you can help. If you reach over to hold their hand, and recognize with them that they’re struggling, it will validate how they’re feeling and open up the opportunity for you to help them through it.
The American Psychological Association talks about this very thing, and on their website they state: “Teach your children to recognize and name their emotions. Don’t bother trying to have the conversation while they’re upset, however. When things are calm, find opportunities to talk about feelings and strategies for managing them. . . It won’t all sink in during one conversation, but you can lay the groundwork.”
Step 2: Stop what you’re doing
The next step to handling a bad homeschool day, is to stop what you’re doing as soon as you’ve recognized that the day isn’t going well. Whatever the reason may be for the bad day, just stop and don’t continue – yet. (We’ll talk more about continuing in a minute.)
If it’s you as the homeschooling mom who is having the bad day, the last thing your kids need is for you to say things they don’t deserve to hear. I’m saying this with all humility, because I’ve been guilty of this and have needed to ask my kids to forgive me on multiple occasions. The best way to avoid making this mistake is to just stop, and if at all possible, step away for a few minutes. If you have older kids, this will be easier than if you have toddlers or a baby. If you need to put your baby in the playpen for 5 minutes, that’s ok! Just do everything you can to step away, take a breath of fresh air, and gather yourself together.
If stepping away really isn’t possible, then simply stop what you’re doing and sit there. Close your eyes, breathe deeply – just sit, think, and pray. Your kids will notice what you’re doing, and chances are they will quiet down and ask you what’s going on. When they do, be very honest with them and tell them that you’re having a bad day, and you just need a minute. Showing your children that it’s ok to be vulnerable and need help sometimes, is one of the life skills you can be teaching them in moments like this.
Again, if your children are the ones experiencing some bad homeschool days, encourage them to stop and step away for a few minutes. Make sure they know they aren’t being punished, but rather that you love them and can see that they might just need a bit of space. Which leads us to the next step…..
Step 3: Give everyone some space
After you’ve recognized that it’s a bad day and stopped what you’re doing, the next step is to give everyone a little bit of space. I realize this is easier said than done, especially when you have younger kids. But do the best you can to separate everyone, even if just for 10-15 minutes.
Try suggesting that your kids go to their rooms to play for a bit, or listen to some quiet music to help calm everyone’s nerves. If lack of sleep is the reason for the bad day, maybe everyone needs to lay down for a quick 20 minute nap. If your kids are old enough to be left alone, you could even go for a walk by yourself. Everyone will have a different way of accomplishing this based on their individual situation – but my point is, giving everyone a little bit of space can work wonders to reset the mood!
Step 4: Pick up where you left off – or don’t!
The next thing to do after everyone has had a bit of breathing space, is to determine how to continue on with your day. This will entirely depend on the reason for the bad day in the first place, how well your kids can transition back to their routine, and what you absolutely NEED to get done that day.
If things have settled and you feel that you and your kids are able to pick back up with your school day, then go for it. This might mean starting up again later on when everyone is feeling better. It could also mean just adjusting your goals for the day, and perhaps only doing math and reading, while leaving science for the next day. You can turn what could have been a disaster, into something manageable. During a bad homeschool day, it’s perfectly ok to do the bare minimum.
Sometimes though, continuing on with your schooling is just not in the cards. Maybe you decide that you are done with formal lessons for the day, and you take everyone out for ice cream! Or perhaps you put on some educational videos, or go for a nature walk. If you know in your heart that the day is not going to turn out like you had hoped, it’s perfectly ok to change your plans all together! There are so many creative solutions you could come up with in order to regain control over your day, and not let it tear you down.
Step 5: Analyze your bad days
We all have imperfect days, and there’s nothing unusual about that. But it’s a good idea to analyze your homeschool and ask yourself if there are more bad days than good days. If there are, then I would encourage you to try and figure out why that is. It could be that you and your family are just going through a really hard time right now, and there are circumstances beyond your control that are contributing to your bad homeschool days. But if that’s not the case, and you are noticing that there are far more bad days creeping in lately, then this would be a good time to re-evaluate your homeschool goals.
Some things to analyze are:
- Is there a curriculum you’ve been using that is causing unnecessary stress?
- Are you trying to pack too much into each day?
- Do you need to establish a better routine or rhythm within your homeschool day?
- Have you been comparing your family to other homeschool families on social media or in your local homeschool group?
These are only a few of the reasons why you may be experiencing a bad homeschool day, a little too often. Here are a few blog posts I have written that can help you in these areas, and more:
- Top 10 Tips To Become A Consistent Homeschooling Mom
- How To Overcome Fear And Doubt As A Homeschool Mom
- How To Set A Homeschool Morning Routine That Works
I know it can be hard to analyze and critique what you’re doing, but do your best to be honest and emotionally detached from this process. Homeschooling isn’t always easy, but it should bring more joy than hardship. If it’s not, that’s a sign that it’s time to switch things up and try something new.
Pressing The Reset Button
My last piece of advice is to let you know that sometimes, the best thing you can do is to press the reset button on your homeschool. Remember, homeschooling is a lifestyle and you have the freedom to decide how you’re going to live it. If taking a break is what you need, then take a break! Start fresh with a new plan, a new curriculum, or a new perspective. You should never feel slave to anything within your homeschool. If something is preventing you and your family from getting the most out of your homeschooling experience, just let it go!
Homeschooling is such a blessing, and there’s nothing I want more than to see you thrive in your own homeschool journey.
Blessings!
~Maryann
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