In this blog post, I am listing 10 reasons why you should not homeschool your kids. Yes, I am a lover of homeschool and I think it can be greatly rewarding in so many ways! However, I am not one of those homeschooling parents that thinks EVERYONE should homeschool, regardless of their situation. There are some reasons why it may not be the right decision for you, and that’s what I’m covering here today.
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Table of Contents
- If you have no extra time
- You don’t know your “why”
- If you’re not willing to be flexible
- You view homeschooling as a “fix” to all the problems
- If your spouse is against homeschooling
- If your desire is to completely shelter your kids
- If you think homeschooling will keep your kids from making mistakes
- If you aren’t willing to learn right alongside your kids
- If you are not willing to put the work into it
- If you can’t handle your house being messys (a lot of the time)
Let’s get right into it! Here are the 10 reasons why you should not homeschool your kids:
1. If you have no extra time
I know that you often hear a lot of people say that you can always make time for something that you want badly enough. And actually, I agree with that – for the most part. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and it’s amazing what we can accomplish with that time when we put in the effort.
But there are some circumstances in which homeschooling successfully is much more of a challenge. Some of these situations include:
- Someone who is a single parent working long hours, with little to no support
- If both spouses work long hours every day and your children spend most of their time with other family members
- A stage of life that is occupying all of your spare time (ie. sickness, starting a new business, being the caretaker of a friend or family, etc)
These are only examples, but in situations like what I just mentioned, meeting your child’s needs when it comes to homeschooling would be really challenging. I’m not saying it’s impossible, because it’s amazing how creative you can be with solutions when it’s something you’re passionate about. And perhaps these examples wouldn’t be as hard to navigate if you are already a homeschooling family.
However, if you are just thinking of starting your homeschool journey, and your schedule is such that you are hardly ever with your children, then homeschooling may not be the best option during this stage of life.
As flexible as homeschooling is, it still takes time, work, and commitment. I know for a fact that if I was working 10-12 hour days, I would find it very hard to homeschool my children around that schedule. Again…can it be done? Yes. Just be honest with yourself, and make sure that you consider your schedule as part of your decision.
If you are in this situation and you really want to make homeschooling work, here is a great article all about homeschooling while working full-time. It has some good practical steps to help your organize your time.
2. You don’t know your “why”
Another reason why you should not homeschool, is if you don’t know why you want to! Like….really know why.
I know, I know…..it seems like everyone is telling us to find our “why’s” about everything these days! I hear it all the time, and sometimes I even roll my eyes at it a little bit. But as homeschool moms, we really do need to know exactly WHY we are homeschooling.
This is because the idea of homeschooling usually starts out as something that appears flawless. You take your children out of public or private school, (or perhaps never enroll them in the first place), and you imagine every day to be full of joyful learning experiences, extracurricular activities, and field trips.
But the reality, is that not every day is what you imagined it would be. Homeschooling is absolutely amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! However, we’ve had some really hard days, and I’ve spent a lot of time revisiting my “why”, so that I stay focused on the goal.
If you don’t know your “why”, then when hard days arrive it will be all to easy to throw in the towel and turn your back on this whole homeschooling thing. So if you want to homeschool long term, and learn how to push through those tough days without quitting – figure out your “why”.
Also, check out this post all about how to handle bad homeschool days and turn them into something good!
3. If you’re not willing to be flexible
If you are the personality type that is not willing to be flexible with your plans, this may be a reason why you should not homeschool your kids.
When you take on the responsibility of your children’s education, that needs to be your top priority. I’m not saying that you never do anything else, or that you never make any plans or goals for your day – that would be crazy! But what I am saying, is that homeschooling can and often will take over. And often times, you may have to push pause on some of your own plans for the day. If you aren’t willing to be flexible, you may have a really hard time with this.
Homeschooling, and everything it involves, doesn’t only occupy the “school hours” you have set in your schedule. Perhaps everyone had a slow start to the morning so you are starting your school time later than normal. Maybe one of your kids needs some extra help with something, which means you need to cancel the plans you made for after school.
Whatever the reasons are, homeschool parents need to approach each and every day with goals, but also with flexibility. And if you prefer to have things operate on a more rigid schedule and simply cannot embrace flexibility, then like I said, this may be a reason why you should not homeschool.
Can you overcome this? Absolutely! But you need to be willing to overcome it. So be honest with yourself, and evaluate which goals are most important to you.
4. You view homeschooling as a “fix” to all the problems
If your reason for choosing home education, is that you think it will fix all the problems your child is having….then unfortunately you’re in for some disappointment. This is a good reason why you should not homeschool, because if you go into it with this expectation, it will never live up to that.
Now, if your child is currently in a traditional school setting and is experiencing a lot of bullying and negative external pressures, then yes – homeschooling will help to fix those things.
But the truth of the matter is, your child is a human being….and humans face all sorts of problems! Even homeschooled children have problems – I know….shocking right?
You cannot expect homeschooling to be the “cure all” for your child’s life. This is not a good reason to choose homeschooling, simply because, it’s not reality. If this is your reason, then once new and different problems start to creep in, you’ll feel like you’ve been mislead by this whole homeschooling thing, and you may not know where to go from there.
I believe that homeschooling is good and very beneficial, but it does not, and will not solve all of your child’s problems.
5. If your spouse is against homeschooling
A big reason why you should not homeschool, is if your spouse is adamantly against it.
If you have school-age children and homeschooling is something that you feel passionate about, but for whatever reason your spouse is not on board – then you need to figure that out BEFORE you start to homeschool.
Even if you feel that homeschooling is a good fit for your own family, and you can see all the many benefits it will bring, your spouse needs to be supportive of that. It’s ok if he or she isn’t AS convinced as you are, but there has to be a base line of support there. They at least have to give the go ahead for you to try it out and see what happens. Often times, once they see how homeschooling works they will become more and more on board over time.
However, if you have a spouse that has drawn a hard line with this and is completely opposed to the idea of homeschooling, then that is definitely a reason why you should not homeschool.
If this is the situation you are in, I encourage you to sit down and have some hard discussions with each other about why you each feel the way you do. Maybe your spouse has heard some bad things about homeschooling and is fearful of it. Or maybe they think the cost of homeschooling will be too much to manage. The bottom line is, you need to be on the same page in order for homeschooling to really be a good option for your family.
Approach this topic with as much prayer and understanding as possible. If God wants your family to homeschool, He will make a way for that. So don’t dishonor your spouse and completely go against their wishes. First things first….work through this disagreement, and hopefully, come out the other end with a solution that you both feel good about.
6. If your desire is to completely shelter your kids
Now, this here is a very important reason why you should not homeschool your children! If you are choosing to homeschool because you want to completely shelter your children from the real world, that is not a healthy reason.
Before you jump down my throat, let me explain this a bit further.
I am all for sheltering our children from certain aspects of this crazy world we live in. I believe that as parents, it’s our job to protect our kids from danger, and shelter them while they’re young. And sadly, there is a lot of stuff going on inside the public school system today that has no business being there.
However, is it really the best thing to try and hide our kids from real life, and make them believe the world is different than what it really is? I strongly believe that no, that is not the best thing for our children.
I believe that homeschooling provides the perfect training grounds for our kids to become equipped for the world they live in. It allows us as their parents, to teach them about the good, and the bad aspects of life, but from a healthy perspective. We can take our children out into society and when they see something that perhaps isn’t what we would want them to see, we can use that as a reason to have some important discussions with them.
I want my children to grow up and be able to handle themselves in this world. My desire is for them to know what is going on, have an awareness of the different beliefs and lifestyles, but also have a strong conviction towards their own. I want them to be prepared to face the real world with knowledge and power, not be blindsided by it when they step outside of our home.
Please know, I understand that the desire to shelter your kids stems from how much love you have for them. I get it! It’s hard to think of our precious babies being swallowed up by the evils of this world. But if we don’t prepare them for what’s out there, they won’t have the muscles required to stand up to it.
So if this is your reason for homeschooling, please take a step back and consider how that will affect your children down the road. Is sheltering them from reality really the right choice? Or does it just make you feel better right now?
7. If you think homeschooling will keep your kids from making mistakes
The next reason why you should not homeschool your kids, is if you think that your children will never make any mistakes if they’re homeschooled. I’m not talking about making a mistake on a math equation, I’m referring to “life” mistakes.
Sadly, making wrong choices is a part of growing up that no educational method can eliminate. Even if you homeschool all the way from elementary school through to high school, your children will still have plenty of time to make mistakes!
I know that it’s hard for us to imagine our kids making some of the same mistakes that we made growing up…..eeek! But they need to live and experience things in their own ways. And sometimes, the best learning comes from realizing where we went wrong. These types of life lessons are often things that will shape and grow your children into well balanced and well rounded adults.
Obviously, my prayer for every child is that none of their mistakes are life altering. And I deal with the normal parental anxieties over those types of situations happening in my own children’s lives. But the best thing I can do about that, (really the ONLY thing I can do about that), is to pray for my children every single day. I accept the fact that as much as I may try, I cannot protect my children from everything. Also, I can’t make all of their decisions for them. All I can do is teach them the truth, and use their formative years to instill as much moral character and critical thinking skills as possible.
Beyond that, all we can really do as parents, is to lay it down at God’s feet. This means trusting that God loves them even more than we do. And trusting that if there is something bad in our child’s life, that He will turn that into something good. This is the best thing we can do as parents. And listen…praying for our kids is no small task! It is really the most powerful thing we can do.
Homeschooling can provide incredible roots for your children, and be a solid foundation for them to build upon. But you cannot make an idol of it, and view it as the saviour for your kids. They are going to mess up and make some bad decisions. Again, hopefully nothing life changing. But even so, God is bigger than all of those things and he’s way bigger than homeschooling.
So don’t homeschool if your only reason for doing so is because you don’t want your kids to make mistakes. It simply doesn’t work that way.
8. If you aren’t willing to learn right alongside your kids
When I first started homeschooling, all I thought about was how I was going to teach my children. I never even considered the fact that I would be learning, and re-learning right alongside them.
To do this, you need to be willing to learn – meaning that you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong about something, and allow your kids to see that you don’t know everything. Although this may sound easy enough, for some people it is actually really hard.
If you are someone who struggles with allowing yourself to appear vulnerable and letting your guard down around your kids, homeschooling may prove to be very challenging for you.
I can tell you from experience, that I have spent so much time over the last few years being humbled by this homeschooling journey. Things I thought I knew, I re-learned in whole new ways. And there have been countless times that my children have looked to me for answers about something, and I found myself just as clueless as they are! But you see, for myself, this is one of the many blessings of homeschooling because I am growing right alongside my children. It’s truly amazing!
However, I recognize that not everybody is the same, and for many people, this concept makes them very uncomfortable. If this is you, then this might be a reason why you should not homeschool your children – unless you are determined to face your own discomfort and come out a better person on the other side. Which, you can totally do!
9. If you are not willing to put the work into it
When you are homeschooling for the first time, there is quite a learning curve. It’s very common for a homeschool parent to spend hours and hours choosing a curriculum that seems like a good choice, only to find out about one month into the school year that it’s not working out.
So much of what you start out doing, ends up being thrown to the wayside and reconfigured halfway through the year. Also, what you did last year, will almost never be what you do next year. There is a lot of work that goes into homeschooling, even when you don’t use any curriculum at all!
You need to be willing to put the time and effort in that’s required of you as homeschool parents. Yes, homeschooling is flexible, and yes, you can customize it however you want in order to optimize your child’s education. But all of those decisions require time and effort in order for you to figure out what your children need.
This sort of goes back to reason number one, but if you are too busy to put any time into planning, or you simply just aren’t willing to work at this – then homeschooling may not be the best choice for your family.
10. If you can’t handle your house being messy (a lot of the time)
Ok, the final reason why you should not homeschool your kids is if you aren’t willing to accept the fact that your house will be messy….a lot.
I’m not saying you will never clean your house, because of course you will! However, when you homeschool, everyone is home basically all the time. Other than extracurricular activities, outings with your homeschooling community, etc, everything will be happening at home. You will ALL eat breakfast, lunch, and supper at home, do school at home, plus, not to mention the fact that you simply live in your home!
There is also the reality of all the supplies that homeschooled kids use and need access to on a regular basis. Some examples, are things like craft supplies, paints, books, etc. And let’s not forget about office supplies such as paper, binders, pens & pencils, printers, laminators…..I could go on and on because I LOVE office supplies, (but you get the picture).
>>>Read: Easy House Cleaning Schedule For Busy Homeschool Moms
All of this activity inside of your house 24/7, is going to end up in some messes. No matter how organized you are, it WILL happen – trust me on this. And you need to be ok with that when you go into this. If you are somebody who needs order all of the time, and really truly cannot operate with any sort of mess around you, then homeschooling is going to challenge that part of you, very often.
Can you fight through and find ways to overcome this? Just like everything else on this list – YES! But you have to adopt the mindset that it’s you that needs to shift a little bit, and not your kids. You can’t put your issue with this, on them. They need space to be creative and feel at home in their environment so that they are free to learn and explore. If they’re always worried about getting in trouble when they leave a pencil laying out on the table – then homeschooling will not be what it could be for them. Or for you.
Of course, it’s good to teach your children to clean up after themselves and get them in the habit of helping out around the house. But homeschooling houses do look different than non homeschooling houses. It’s just the way it is.
Don’t be scared – You CAN do this!
Well, if you’re still here with me and you’re feeling scared or intimidated by homeschooling, let me give you some hope!
If you want to homeschool badly enough, if you have a passion inside your of heart to remove your children from formal education and go down this amazing road with them – you absolutely CAN!
All of these reasons I gave here today are not meant to scare you away, but rather to make sure you have a realistic idea of what homeschool will require of you. Homeschooling is a lifestyle and it affects every single area of your home and life.
My goal with this blog post is to help you understand some of the realities of homeschooling, so that you can self reflect and decide if you’re really ready to tackle this or not. If you are, that’s great, I’m so excited for you!
But if as you’re reading through this, you identify with a lot of these reasons and are feeling challenged by the realities I’m presenting, here is some encouragement. You absolutely CAN homeschool your children! You can take some time, really pray about how you’re feeling, talk things over with your spouse or family member, and work through some of these things first. You could also set up some systems that will help you handle the moments of overwhelm that will pop up.
Bottom line is this: You can overcome ALL of these reasons I gave, and homeschool your children successfully!
You just need to have the drive and conviction to do so.
Homeschooling is a blessing
I’ll end this off by sharing the joy of homeschooling! It really is such a huge blessing, and has changed my life for the better! Now that we are a homeschooling family, I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like had we not started. It has brought a great amount of riches to our family, (no I don’t mean money and jewels…ha!), but riches that are priceless and irreplaceable.
Some of the ways in which homeschooling has made our lives better are:
- Deeper connection with our children
- Increased closeness within our family unit as a whole
- Spiritual growth
- Character building (for my kids AND myself)
- Solid foundation of academic learning
- Time to explore passions and interests
- The development of close friendships within the homeschooling community
- More time spent outside
I could go on, but I’ll stop there…I think you get the picture!
>>>Read: The Spiritual Benefits Of Homeschooling
Summary
If homeschooling is something you are wanting to do, it is well worth the work to make it happen! But, if you don’t feel you can put the work into it that it requires, or you know that you simply do not have the time or support needed, then maybe it isn’t the best choice for you…yet.
Remember, there are seasons for everything and it could be that in this current season of your life, starting to homeschool just isn’t in the cards. It’s ok to recognize that for what it is. If you really want this lifestyle for your family, but it just isn’t the season for it – pray about it. Do what needs to be done right now in order to prepare yourself for when that season comes.I believe that anyone CAN homeschool, but that doesn’t mean it’s always going to be what’s best right now.
Also, don’t forget that God equips those that He calls. So if you are feeling a calling on your heart to homeschool, but you feel completely unequipped to do so…that’s ok. Lean on Him and let Him refine you and equip you in His way. I’ve experienced this in my own life, and let me tell you, it’s been incredible!
Blessings!
~Maryann
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